Torn Between Love and Hate

Chapter 203

Chapter 203 Falling In Love with Another Man

Deborah paused for a moment before realizing something was off, both from Joseph’s expectant tone Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

and the way he looked at her like a wolf eyeing its prey.

She was now wide awake, her face slightly flushed as she said, “No, what I meant was, will you want a

child in the

future?”

Joseph moved closer, wanting to embrace her, but upon hearing her words, he reluctantly lay back

down.

“I don’t want children, Debby. I don’t need them. If we get married in the future, I will treat Alyssa like

my own

daughter.”

Deborah didn’t have a uterus, so it was impossible for them to have a child together.

Joseph knew that because of this, she felt upset inside.

So he would never say that he wanted a child.

Compared to being with Deborah, the matter of having children really wasn’t worth mentioning-

Deborah looked at him earnestly. “I’ve thought it through carefully, and it’s not fair for you to bear the

burden of so many things. I’ve heard that there are uterine transplants abroad, but I’m not sure if

they’re available here. I’d like to find out more and give it a try.”

She could no longer give him her pure self, but having a child might not be entirely impossible.

Although she had experienced everything with Alyssa and the miscarriage, when it came to having

children, what

remained for her was mostly fear.

The desire in Joseph’s eyes faded, and instead of suppressing himself, he reached out, pulled her

close, and held her

tightly.

His voice was filled with heartache. “I don’t need a child, I really don’t.”

Suddenly, Deborah found herself in his embrace. The warmth from his slightly feverish body transferred

to hers, causing her face to flush intensely in an instant.

Her mind went blank for a moment, completely forgetting what she had just been thinking about and

what she had

planned to say.

Joseph hugged her tightly, resting his chin on top of her head. “I don’t think there’s anything unfair. As

long as you don’t give up on me, everything is the fairest to me.”

Deborah was finding it hard to breathe in his embrace, her face flushed as she pushed him away. “Take

it

breathe.”

easy,

‘, I can’t

After saying that, she quickly realized that something seemed off about her words, and her face turned

even redder.

Joseph embraced her hands; the veins on the back of his hands clearly visible.

His entire body was burning hot, and that thread of rationality in his mind kept tightening relentlessly.

He tried his best to endure, but he could no longer completely control himself like that.

He was never truly a good person, nor could he be considered a gentleman.

In his dreams, he longed to possess her, to have her completely.

One would long to possess the things one liked and desired completely.

Ashton, Zayne, and now Adrian many times, they made him feel anxious and on the verge of losing

control.

Don’t worry? How can I not worry?

In particular, over the past few days, due to Alyssa’s involvement, Deborah had suddenly become

distant from him.

Even in his dreams, he dreamt that the three years he spent with Deborah were all fake.

Deborah left him behind, never to look back again.

Joseph held her tightly, as reason and emotion seemed to be at opposite ends of a rope, constantly

struggling and pulling against each other.

As he repeatedly said “I’m sorry,” he couldn’t help but lower his head, continuously kissing her

forehead.

He felt like he was going insane, but when he kissed her, a faint trace of reason still lingered.

That thread of rationality allowed him to restrain himself, preventing him from going any further.

In the days to come, they still had a long journey ahead, and countless opportunities to grow closer.

He could wait, and he would definitely give her enough time to think and make a decision.

Wait until Alyssa could accept him, wait until he and Deborah could truly get married and become a

legitimate

husband and wife.

Joseph kissed her, and Deborah could feel his body trembling.

He wasn’t just enduring tonight; he had been enduring for three years. Neither of them had ever

spoken about it, but

deep down, they both knew the truth.

Deborah looked up at him and replied softly, “It’s okay, I don’t mind, even if it’s Alyssa…”

Even if Alyssa could never accept him, even if she and Joseph could never be together openly and

legitimately.

No matter what, she truly didn’t mind anymore.

Joseph gently kissed her, but that was as far as it went.

He breathed heavily, “Debby, I can wait, wait until we get married.”

Deborah held him close, feeling his presence beside her, listening to his gentle, soft-spoken words.

#

That feeling is like sitting by a floor-to-ceiling window on a snowy day, warming yourself by the fire,

sipping a hot beverage, and gazing at the pristine white snow outside.

With loved ones by our side, we tend to find warmth, peace, contentment, and the passage of time

becomes serene.

After all these years, she never dared to imagine that she could have a day like this.

I never dared to imagine that I could fall in love with another man besides Ashton.

Suddenly, she realized that the memories she shared with Ashton were from such a long, long time

ago.

It had been so long that it almost feels like it happened in a previous life.

Deborah felt warmth enveloping her entire body, and just as she was about to drift off to sleep, she

murmured drowsily, “Joseph, thank you.”

Joseph’s voice was close to her ear, his laughter deep and rich. “What are you thanking me for? If you

want to thank me, show it through your actions in the future.”

Deborah didn’t hear it anymore; she had fallen asleep in his arms,

After this sleep, when I woke up, it was already bright outside.

Deborah was awakened by the sound of her phone ringing. As she opened her eyes, she saw Joseph,

eyes closed, answering her call.

“Alyssa, oh, your mom is here. I’ll let her take the call.”

Joseph still hasn’t fully woken up, even though it’s almost noon now.

He held Deborah in his arms, lying together on the same bed, and it would be a miracle if he could fall

asleep easily.

Deborah, on the other hand, slept soundly, using him as a pillow.

Joseph had barely managed to fall asleep in the morning when Alyssa’s call came through.

In a daze, he handed his phone to Deborah and playfully tapped it on her head.

“Wake up, Alyssa is calling for you.”

At first, Deborah thought she was just groggy from sleep and experiencing hallucinations.

Upon hearing his words clearly, she immediately sprang up from the bed like a coil, and hurriedly

answered the phone.

“A-Alyssa, it’s Mom.”

Alyssa had a hunch about who Deborah had spent the night with, since she didn’t come home last

night.

But now it’s already 11 in the morning, and she really didn’t expect that Deborah would still be sleeping

in bed.

Adrian had just woken up from a hangover and insisted that she call Deborah. She was also worried

about why Deborah hadn’t returned yet, so she made the call.

Hearing Deborah’s voice, clearly just waking up, Alyssa said, “Mommy, Adrian is asking if you’ll be

going back to Moxley Manor for lunch.”

Adrian immediately lowered his voice and said, “Don’t say it was me who asked.”

Alyssa immediately relayed, “Oh, Adrian said it wasn’t him who asked, so I’m asking instead.”

After a while, Joseph woke up too. Thinking about who he had just talked to on the phone and what he

had said, he

immediately felt a bit uneasy and sat up.

After giving it some thought, he felt a bit puzzled. Why was he panicking? Both he and Deborah were

adults.

How did Alyssa find out? It felt like a child who has done something naughty and was caught red-

handed by an adult, feeling guilty and uneasy.

Deborah held the phone between her ear and shoulder, responding, “Alyssa, Mom will be home soon,

and we can talk when I get back.”

Alyssa agreed with an “okay” and hung up the phone.

As she glanced to one side, she saw Adrian looking at her with dissatisfaction.

His gaze was complex, a mixture of anger, anxiety, and frustration, filled with various emotions.

Alyssa looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Adrian, why are you looking at me like that? Wasn’t it

you who asked me to make the call?”

Adrian suddenly thought of something, turned around, left the bedroom, and rushed downstairs.