Chapter 41
Chapter 41
Sliding a possessive arm around my waist, a little tightly and almost frog marches me to the dance floor. He does an up and down look of my dress with obvious disdain and tenses that square jaw of his. ‘‘I hate this fucking dress you look like a hooker.’’ He is all charm tonight isn’t he?
‘’Thank you, that’s the look I was going for.’’ I answer smugly as he hauls me into position on the floor and starts dancing me slowly to a very boring piece of classical music, pulling me into his command and almost lifting me off my feet with how tightly I’m held. It’s hardly loving or comfortable and is just an aggressive show of how pissed he is at me.
‘’You think I am not tallying all this shit up in my head … for later?’’ He almost growls it with furrowed brows and tone husky as hell as my blood turns to ice in my veins. Heartbeat escalating as weakness waves through me. I think they call that a wave of fear, yet I lift my chin and smile. ‘’Shock … Alexi is thinking up ways to put me back in my place, should I be scared?’’ I shouldn’t poke the bear, but he just infuriates me at every turn and even if I am palpating with nerves, I am no longer going to show him that he affects me. Even if I feel sick with the fact he does.
‘’The club isn’t the only place I have shackles installed.’’ He rasps and that does shut me up, face dropping and all bravado too. He’s a prick that knows how to make me shit myself, and I wouldn’t put it past him to tie me up and do heinous things to me in the name of punishment. I think he gets off on it.
‘’You’re starting to lose your cool Carrero. Outright threats and angry tones, I think you might be coming down with something serious.’’ I jest at him, all fake attitude, while my heart pounds like a war drum. Alexi just smiles salaciously.
‘‘You forget how much of you I can feel right now. Smart mouth, yet your body is in panic mode, you’re running scared, London. So I can’t be losing that much of my edge.’’ He is a complete arsehole and I look away across the room to avoid the amusement and arrogance all over his smug arse face. I hate how clever the Tosser can be.
‘’Why did you bring me here? If all you are going to do is be a prick all night.’’ I can feel the welt of tears brimming and it’s so stupid, crying over him. Crying because of him and how much of an arsehole he can be. This is not who I am or the girl I have ever been. I rise above men and their games and laugh in their face with no effect whatsoever. I don’t get why he is any different and I hate that I cannot control it. The sooner he leaves me here the better. I need him out of my life while I get a handle on the power he has over me.
‘‘I wanted some arm candy and it looks out of place if I don’t bring a date. You were easier than finding a new one for tonight on short notice.’’
Wanker!
Knows how to make a girl feel special.
‘’How much longer do we need to stay here? I’m bored, I want to leave.’’ I say huffily and just avoid looking at him at all. Wounded that he just gets to me and hating the fact that I am just now one of his many ‘‘women’’ and I have lost my use in his club that separated me from the rest. I know he’s not a man you get easy access to any day of the week and my use meant I got a free pass to see him anytime I wanted. Now I am being refiled under the ‘‘pick her up when I feel the itch for a redhead.’’
Still slow dancing with his arm around my waist, one hand holding mine, my other on his broad shoulder and this intimacy is suffocating me. Like adding salt to my many wounds.
‘‘Now. I’m done here.’’ He lets me go and takes my hand a little too firmly to ever be confused as tender and walks me to the nearest old man while he tells them we are leaving. Oldie gives me the once over with his eyes and that smarmy grin as he whispers something in Alexi’s ear—it’s obvious to what he’s saying. Carrero just pats him on the back firmly and smiles. ’’She’s about to find out.’’ His glances my way do nothing to give me confidence, he just looks like he always does, and I sigh in complete deflation, letting out a long slow breath and try not to let my nerves show. Let the games proceed …
* * *
Mico drives us back to Alexi’s grand house, nestled on its own little piece of land standing back from other huge houses in the street. It’s a poster child for suburban living and wealthy lifestyles and is picturesque in a glamorous way. It’s already lit up with the men who stayed behind and looks almost welcoming despite my sombre mood. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
My future security hanging around inside greet us with the once over, checking all who enter, and he dismisses them when we get inside. Nodding at Mico and sending silent messages with nothing but slight looks, he guides me upstairs without much conversation about it and I just do as I am told.
Not bothered that I am being ushered right upstairs upon our return, I’m not really a cosy lounge and watch Tv type.
The car ride had been in stony silence as the atmosphere thickened, and he stayed with eyes glued to his phone amid throes of gripping texts it seems. He never looked my way once and it just heightened my anxiety for getting back here; I know that he’s pissed and have no clue what is going on in that head of his, nor am I eager to find out. He’s someone who holds onto his little grudges, and he does like the added suspense of making you sweat it out a little. He’s deliberately giving me the silent treatment to heighten my nerves and I should just not care. But that’s like trying to turn back the tide: Impossible.
I see I obviously have no choice in the nuptial arrangements, in the fact he’s pushing me straight to the bedroom, and I am willing myself to be firm, hold my ground and make him sleep anywhere other than with me. He is holding fast, walking in silence along the carpeted and dimly lit hall but I can tell with the way he is cajoling where I head that his mind is made up, I am his prey for tonight. He meant it when he said sex was a must.
I won’t give in … I won’t let him have sex with me because he has deemed it as the plan and what he wants, I must break this part of the deal and not let it happen again; show him he does not own me like he does his other bimbos and sluts. He is gaining way too much control, and sex is a weapon he is effective with. I know that he is way too persuasive when he sets his mind on seduction, and I am way too weak for him, so I need to make a stand now. Before we get to his bedroom door and I can hightail it into mine as we pass. I’ll say goodnight and go to my own room. Be strong, be fierce, hate him and tell him where to go.
When we get to the landing outside the room I was shown to earlier, I try to divert off to mine instead of the path to his he has me on, but he just tightens his hold on my arm and yanks me around back towards his own door. I struggle for a moment, protest in my movements, but my nerve is failing and I really do not want to have a tug of war with my own limb.
‘’I’m sleeping alone, in my room, without you!’’ I try for verbal bravado, but he knocks the wind out of my sail with a quick spin of my body to face him, before pushing me up hard against the wall to my right. My back hitting it with a little force that knocks me senseless, and he’s right in my face moulding to me with every part of that strong muscular form. I catch my breath, pressed chest to chest and breathing hard as he advances on me like a vampire longing for blood.
‘’You can say No … but you have to mean it.’’ He sounds husky, sexy, overly confident and my stubbornness waivers. He’s on that power trip because of my defiance over my outfit. Whether he wanted sex or not, he’s pushing the point because I also denied that, and he is far too clued in on my inability to really turn him down. It’s like he can read my freaking mind.
‘’I’m not having sex with you. That part of this relationship is done.’’ I just sound feeble and curse my lack of acting when faced with him. No matter how annoyed I am with him, I can’t actually hold onto it as a deterrent to getting naked with him. It’s like caving chocolate even though you know it will just make your clothes too tight and you will regret it later.
Stand up to him! Don’t let him kiss you for God’s sake.
‘’You don’t sound so sure.’’ Alexi moves in an inch closer and his nose grazes mine, his breath on my sensitive lips and I have to fight to stop myself closing my eyes and inhaling how good he smells. It’s one of those infuriating things about him, he always smells too good to be true. If you could bottle the one scent that drove you wild out of your mind with longing and horniness it would be Alexi Carrero’s smell. It’s inhuman. ‘’I’m sure.’’ My voice trembles, it’s so low it’s barely audible, body trembling like crazy with the sheer closeness of someone who makes me ache for him and I curse myself for how weak I sound. Grappling to find my previous disdain for the man. I should be much stronger than this, and I don’t get how just moving close and touching me wipes all that away. Sharing air, nose to nose, body pressed perfectly to his and heart pounding through my chest. I can literally feel my underwear self-combusting with the way he has me pinned, my mouth longing to be kissed by him, and yet I mustn’t give in. My breasts heaving with the effort and so very afraid that he might actually kiss me and undo all my protests. That static between us crackles in the air.
‘’Goodnight then.’’ He smiles and begins to relax his hold on me so that I exhale in relief and start to sag a little that I haven’t had to fight it, fight him. A little light-headed with the way I suddenly took in a little too much oxygen as he steps away, and even though I am rejoicing, I also feel bitterly torn and disappointed and curse myself out.