My Dad's Bestfriend

Chapter 164 This Means Nothing

Evelyn

After that mind-blowing orgasm and Jacob's final touch, another night was slipping by in terrifying silence. I tossed and turned in bed, restless, unable to get a wink of sleep. My mind raced with thoughts, loud and unkind, questioning my dignity and the self-preservation I had until I let Jacob finger- fuck and lick me to a shattering climax that I could still feel between my thighs. The sensitivity was still lingering there.

I was so fucking stupid to allow him to do that because now, I stimply couldn't get him out of my head.

If there was anything I should have felt for him, it should have been hatred. But no, I felt everything else the fire, the warmth, the urge, the craving, the hunger-every fucking thing except the one emotion I believed I should have felt for him: hatred.

God, Maybe, I could never ever hate him and this realization was sickening.

I emitted a soft groan, trying to banish his image from my mind. He had looked so incredibly hot with my essence on his lips, hovering over me, his face so tantalizingly close to mine. He looked breathtaking.

I still loved him...

Why the fuck did I still love him?!!!

"God, Evelyn! Get him out of your head," I muttered, sitting up and finally getting out of bed. I knew sleep was nowhere near me, so a stroll in the garden it was. Wine? I doubted there was any left. I had seen Clara and Dad take nearly three bottles up to their room. One would have done the job, but they didn't want me anywhere near any kind of drink-sly hedgehogs that they were!

I wrapped the shrug around my body, bracing for the possibility of a chilly night. You can never trust the weather.

Slowly, I walked downstairs, opened the glass door, and stepped into the garden. But then....My body froze the moment my bare feet touched the grass.

There stood Jacob Adriano, his bare, strong back facing me, hands tucked into his trouser pockets as he gazed at the sky, at the moon. A sight I could only describe as ethereal.

Unconsciously, I took a few steps forward, bringing his side profile into view. It didn't take me a second to realize he was deep in thought, distant. It was uncharacteristic of him to look so far away, deep in thoughts as if buried in some secluded corner of his mind that he wouldn't let anyone discover. He'd always been composed, calm, and controlled.

Before I knew it, I found myself asking, "What are you doing here?"

His eyes shifted to me slowly, unsurprised. "I couldn't sleep." His answer was as simple as his gaze. As much as I knew him, I could tell he was trying not to plan anything, unlike other times there was nothing going on in his mind. But he looked....sad.

"What happened?" I asked, stepping closer. I didn't care what was going on between us, whether a fight, a war, or a growing distance that might never be bridged again. When he was at his low, I couldn't stop myself from going to him. It was an invisible pull-like a string attached that I never might be able to cut off.

I stood in front of him, looking up with soft eyes. My hands fought a battle, longing to cup his face and kiss him gently, again and again, until all the pain in his eyes was gone.

But instead, I crossed my arms over my chest, forcing my eyes to show only curiosity when all they held was love.

"Nothing," he shrugged, trying to mask his vulnerability with a facade of indifference. He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his hand, stopping him. "Tell me," I insisted. "What is it?"

His eyes met mine, filled with something I couldn't explain. He remained silent for a few seconds, glancing from my hand on his wrist to my face. A soft, melancholic smile curled his lips. "You still care?"

I hurriedly released my grasp, realization hitting me. I rubbed my arms, trying to erase the uncomfortable feeling as his gaze lingered on me a little too long.

"You could say I'm a bit curious," I stammered. "I'd even ask my enemy why he looks sad if he happens to look sad."

"Oh really?" he asked with a chuckle, but it lacked its usual playfulness, sounding weighed down by an untangled knot in his chest. Perhaps he couldn't untangle it, or needed someone to help and I already wanted to be the one to help, fuck, I was never going to get over him, was I?

"So, what am I? Your enemy now?"

"Nothing less than that," I shrugged, tucking my hair behind my ear as the wind whipped around us. The weather was beautiful tonight—a sky full of stars, the moon shining brightly-yet it all felt dull because of the lack of shine in the eyes of my ex. I was foolish, wasn't I?

He emitted another chuckle, this one just as lifeless. "I see," he whispered, looking at me with a melancholic smile. Our eyes locked, and we looked at each other in the wind that brushed our skin softly, yet felt as sharp as knives. His smile slowly faded, and then he uttered, "It's... it's my father's death anniversary."

My body froze at his words, my eyes widening slightly in realization. Jacob hadn't had the best childhood.

I remembered the night he mentioned how his father died, and how his mother met an untimely death as well. I knew about his childhood, the pain he endured, the things he and Bianca tolerated, and how it left marks that would never fade away.

Before I knew it, I was moving closer to him, closing the gap between us, reducing it to mere inches. I reached out and caressed his face. All my thoughts vanished; I was still mad at him, of course, but at this moment, nothing mattered more than to wipe away that expression from his face. I wanted to do something, anything, to ease his grief.

"Is it bringing back the bad memories?" I asked softly, unable to tear my gaze away from him, my thumb softly brushing against his cheek.

His hand moved to rest over mine,

and he grabbed it, a sigh slipping past his lips as if my touch soothed him. His intense gaze fixated on me. "The regrets.." he whispered, answering my question. "Regret that if only I had been brave enough then, I could have perhaps saved my mother from that fate. Bianca fi from those scars that still mar her skin. And maybe myself from a lifetime of trauma and memories that never leave me. I am not sorry for his death, Evelyn-I just wish he had died sooner. That we all had a better life, away from him. Somewhere safe. Life could have been better if

only he hadn't been so consumed by his addiction and nature, never

bothering to change."

God...

I wished I could take his pain away, erase those regrets, and those memories, and make him whole. But some wounds ran too deep, and no matter how deep I dived, I could never mend them. They would always be there with him.

I moved closer, raising my other hand to cup his face. Pressing my forehead against his, I felt his free hand settle at the small of my back, pulling me

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"Some things are beyond our

control-sometimes it's fate that decides the course of our lives, who stays, and who is taken away. We can't change that," I whispered, inhaling his scent deeply. "But that doesn't mean we have to waste this gift of life on regrets, on things we couldn't change. We have the choice tedive with the good memories, to push the terrible nights into some dark corner of our mind, and to remember only the sunny, bright days when it all gets too much. This is life, Jacob. Things will happen that we don't like, things that might feel like nightmares. But that's life."

I brushed my nose against his, tracing his bottom lip with my thumb.

"You are so much more than those regrets. You are someone who overcame everything, who fought battles for others, a loyal friend, a good human being, and-"

"A failed lover..." he interrupted my sentence with a sigh, his hold on me tightening, "How do I let go of that regret, Evelyn? How do I push those nights away and remember the bright sunny days when they had only been with you the light has always been you."

My throat tightened at his words, and I lightly shook my head. "Let's not talk about it right now."

"But we should..." he whispered. "I can't do this anymore. Not without you." His hold tightened. "I can't fight you, Evelyn. It's tough. Because no matter what, I'd always lose, even after winning, if it's against you."

I wanted to forget everything so badly.

My heart ached. It wanted to forgive him and move on.

But...

What had emotions ever given me? Only heartbreak.

"Shh..." I whispered, leaning into his touch. "I'm going to do something now..." I drew in a breath.

Stupid decision, Evelyn. Stupid decision.

Don't do this.

"But it should mean nothing to you in the morning," I said, slowly moving my thumb away from his lips, my eyes closing as I breathed in his scent. "This changes nothing." And with that, I pressed my lips against his.