Forbidden Desire

“Love, I was feeling really down that day, I was being hugged by a friend. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

My aunt left the dining room, leaving us alone, shaking her head in disapproval. Even in silence, I knew she was criticizing our relationship, and the worst part was that she was right.

“Jane, I don’t feel comfortable knowing that you two will be alone.”

“But we won’t be alone. There’s a team working on this project, there are over fifteen people involved. I’ll just be developing the cover art, but there will be a designer, it will have to go through a whole process. I won’t be alone with him, but I’ll be in a studio crowded with people.”

He took a sip of the coffee in front of him and didn’t seem satisfied, but appeared to calm down. I didn’t have many details about the project myself because on the day of the exhibition, after Jason left, I ran after him and didn’t have the head for anything else. Jihoon ran after me to calm me down and hugged me again, soothing me. We talked little about work because he realized I wasn’t in the right mindset to think about anything at that moment, so we just arranged for me to stop by the studio where he was producing his album to discuss some ideas. Jason seemed to be thinking about something and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and soon his voice came out softly.

“Can you at least work on this at home? After all, your studio is here, right?”

He took my hand across the table, his eyes pleading.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

“I don’t know, love, because this is a job. I don’t determine the conditions, but I can try to talk to him about it. Is that okay?”

I knew he wasn’t entirely satisfied with the situation, but he would have to accept it because I wouldn’t miss this opportunity because of his silly jealousy.

“Okay. If you can, schedule the meetings here too.”

I just nodded because I was still a little annoyed, but soon he melted me with his kisses.

“Sorry, love, it’s just fear of losing you.”

“No need to be afraid, love. I love you, and no one but you can change that.”

“What do you mean?”

He seemed worried, and I regretted speaking without thinking.

“If you hurt me or disappoint me. Only then would my feelings change, not because of other people. But only you.”

“I won’t hurt you or disappoint you ever again, I promise. But either way, call me when you’re done with this meeting, okay?”

He kissed my hand and hurried off because he was already late, he showered me with kisses, and before leaving through the door, he joked.

“Oh, and don’t wear anything too pretty.”

I ended up laughing and shrugged.

“Okay, I’ll wear a burka then.”

He laughed and left me there. I decided to start working on the surprise and went to my studio to start drawing Jason holding a baby. I was so happy drawing, mixing paints, working on every detail that I didn’t realize it was past lunchtime and it was almost time for my meeting at three in the afternoon. I took a quick shower and put on the first pair of jeans I found in my closet with a loose band t-shirt, I realized I wouldn’t have time to eat and hurried, I wanted to feel comfortable since I would be going straight to college from there so I put on black Converse and brushed my hair without worrying about any makeup and put on a mild perfume that still made me slightly nauseous. Luckily, Jason had left the driver at my disposal, so I arrived at the location quickly. I didn’t imagine it would be such a luxurious building and felt underdressed since when I entered the company’s door it felt like I was at a fashion show. As I approached the reception, I noticed the beautiful woman working there looked at me with disdain, but I forced a smile and spoke softly.

“Good afternoon, I have a meeting scheduled with Mr. Kwon Jihoon.”

She chuckled sarcastically and glanced at my clothes again.

“I highly doubt…”

“How?”

“Do you think you’re the first fan to come here trying to talk to Venom? Well, you’re not. So please leave before I call security.”

I was startled by her attitude and tried to explain.

“No… Sorry, but this is a misunderstanding. I’m not a fan, my name is Jane Oliveira, and I’m going to work on the cover art for his new CD.”

“Look, I’m not going to repeat myself… Either you leave…”

“Or what?”

I was already trembling with nerves when that voice that always calmed me filled the room, making my body shiver. When I turned to face him, he was inches away from me and took my hand, pulling me close to him.

“Mr. Jihoon, I was just saying…”

His voice came out sharp and icy in a way that I almost didn’t recognize.

“I heard very well what you were saying, and I can’t believe that’s how you treat such a special guest to me.”

I ended up smiling when I realized that no matter what the situation was, he always appeared to protect me, and before I knew it, I was squeezing his hand harder as a child seeking protection.

“Sorry, Mr., this won’t happen again.”

“It won’t, because today I’m going to ask for your head from the board.”

“No, please, Mr.”

“I don’t want to hear your voice anymore. Come on, Jane, let’s go to the studio.”

He guided me to the elevator, and when the doors closed, he sighed and ruffled his orange hair while trying to calm down. He looked up at me and approached, taking my face in his hands, bringing with him his soft scent that seemed to calm me.

“Sorry for that, okay… She shouldn’t have treated you like that…”

I could see how upset he seemed, and I just smiled at him.

“It’s okay… My golden-armored knight once again saved me.”

His shy smile was breathtaking, every detail of him more beautiful than the last, and I had never felt so safe with someone as I did with him.

“And I’ll save you as many times as you need.”

“I’ll count on that.”

When the elevator doors opened, I realized we were very close to each other, and I took a step back, but soon he stepped out of the elevator, taking my hand and guiding me to the end of the corridor where there was a gray door that was his office. There it seemed more like a huge entertainment room, there were several paintings and sculptures scattered around the room, and I could see he was very connected to art.

“Wow!”

I stopped to admire a painting that took up much of a wall facing the studio, and I realized how similar our tastes were because this is definitely a painting I would buy if I had the opportunity, I could feel all the aggression and frustration behind those vibrant abstract colors that were so alive, and I sighed.

“Do you like it?”

“Wow… I love it, it’s so sensitive and original.”

He smiled, looking proud as he admired the painting.

“It’s mine… I painted it.”

“What?”

I stared at him surprised for not knowing that he also painted, and when our eyes met for a few seconds, my heart beat faster.

“Yes, I also graduated in arts, I paint but not professionally. This painting means a lot to me because I painted it at a time when I was thinking of giving up my career as a musician after hearing some criticisms… I put all my anger, frustration, but mainly my resilience into this painting. Because it was while I was painting it that I realized that I’m an artist and I will never give up because of criticism.”

“That’s why you left it here in front of your recording studio? To remind you that you’re an artist?”

He smiled and nodded.

“You unravel me so easily, it’s hard to keep any mystery.”

“I like that, it’s like I’ve known you my whole life.”

He caressed my fingers with his and only then did I realize we were holding hands.

“I feel the same way.”

He stared at me, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I stared at him for a few seconds before snapping out of my trance and realizing we were alone on this huge floor.

“I, I thought there would be more people here… You said there would be 15 people working on this project.”

He looked away and gave a shy smile before admitting.

“Yes, actually, I sent everyone away just before you arrived.”

He approached me, standing inches from my face, and I was breathless.

“Why?”

He ran his hand through my hair, putting a lock behind my ear and gazing at me with such tenderness and admiration that for a moment, I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Because I wanted to know how you were… I was worried about how you left that day at the exhibition, so I wanted us to be alone to talk.”

He stroked my hair so gently that it melted me, and before I knew it, I was smiling at him.

“I’m fine, Ji… You don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I do… Since that day at the mall, I couldn’t stop thinking about how you must be feeling.”

“I also thought a lot about you.”

I said without even thinking, and when the words left my mouth, I felt embarrassed.

“That’s good… So I don’t feel so silly for not being able to get you out of my head.”

I was completely taken aback by hearing him say that, and when his eyes focused on my lips while he caressed my face, I shivered, feeling him getting even closer, and with great effort, I stepped back a little, trying to disguise how much all that closeness had affected me.

“So, shall we talk about the album cover?”

He seemed a bit disappointed but smiled.

“Of course… Actually, I worked so much that I ended up missing lunch, would you like to have Chinese food with me?”

I smiled and agreed.

“I think you can read my mind because I haven’t eaten either.”

“That’s great, then I’ll order food for both of us, and while we wait, I’ll show you how the songs are turning out firsthand so you can feel the atmosphere I’m creating on the album.”

“Great! That will help me a lot in the creative process.”

We smiled at each other, and soon he had ordered the food. We sat facing his office desk, and he started showing me the songs, discussing ideas, colors, concepts, and when the food arrived, we looked like two children because we spread the packages all over the large purple sofa in his office and started eating while laughing at absolutely everything, how similar we were, the craziest stories he had with fans, the comedy shows we had watched, and every reference we found in our favorite artists.

“I swear to you… No therapy would make me as happy as I am when I’m watching Friends.”

“Even when Ross shows up saying they were on a break.”

“Ahhh no, not there…”

He hid his face behind his food packaging while laughing desperately.

“Oh come on, I know Ross is your favorite.”

He teased me, and I laughed.

“It will never be. Chandler Bing is my religion.”

“So you like funny men?”

“Yes, there’s nothing I like more than someone who can make me laugh at silly things.”

He seemed to think for a moment and nervously played with his food with chopsticks.

“And with Jason, is it like that?”