The Wrong Choice Chapter 2
MADII
“And you will never believe this, but the toddler literally threw up on my shoes. It was the single worst photo shoot I've ever done!” I held Drew's hand the way I had every day for the past I6 months. The medical team had placed him in his own room after a month in ICU, and they'd been gracious enough to give him a double bed, though I never slept there. I couldn't bring myself to resign to the fact that this was Drew's life now.
I refused to give up hope.
Every time I sat next to him and told him about my day, I fully expected him to wake and respond, maybe rub his eyes and yawn. But I'd yet to even see his eyes flutter. Week after week was the same thing. Alice had told me to stay home, so had Henry, Drew's parents. But I came and visited anyway. I had a decent conversation with the doctors toc learning more about his condition and what it would mean when he woke up.
“Ah, there you are Miss Madi. I thought I'd miss you today. I'm about to leave and Cecil will be in to do his shift then. I brought you some water.” Pam, Drew's charge nurse, set a small plastic cup of water on the tray table and patted m shoulder. “Nothing new today, as you probably suspected. Doc will be in shortly with rounds. You want me to bring you something from the cafeteria before I go?”
Pam's black hair had been braided down to her head, a few gold and red pins adorning it. The decoration on the pin: reminded me of the floral arrangements Drew and I had selected for our wedding. Anymore, it seemed like everything reminded me of what I'd lost.
I pushed the thought away. I didn’t want to be negative. That wouldn't help Drew recover. And neither would my tears. I swiped at my cheek, dousing the emotion, and smiled at Pam.
“Thanks, but I will eat when I go home later”
“Are you sure, girl? You're losing weight. You can’t lose much more, or a stiff wind will blow you away.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I'm sure. And don’t worry. I eat plenty at home. Just staying trim so when my man wakes up, he thinks I've still got it” I winked at her, forcing my face to stay positive despite the heartache in my chest. Part of me knew he would never wake up. But it was a part of me I shoved away every time it showed its ugly face.
“Suit yourself. I'll see you tomorrow?” Pam hovered by the door. She had the kindness of a mother, but the sternness of a Catholic nun. Visit J o bnib.com to read the complete sentences for free. “Yeah, sure. You know I can't go a day without him.” I was so sick of hiding my emotions from people. The only person I felt comfortable being real with wa: Dr. Carpenter, and only because he had forced me to open up over lunches with him. I supposed he had appointed himself my therapist. Or maybe he wanted to be my friend. Either way, he was the only release I got from the rage and depression welling inside of me constantly.
I turned my attention back to Drew, pulling my hand away from his long enough to find a tissue and blow my nose. Alice had brought in some respectable tissues finally. We both did enough crying in this awful room to warrant it. Besides, hospital tissues were like I5 bucks a box, and any way we could cut costs helped.
I'd just finished cleaning my face when the door swooshed back open. Alice bustled in, a fresh vase of flowers in hand, followed by Dr. Carpenter—now known as Gavin. We'd spent enough time together to be on a first-name basis, what with my daily visits and his rounds. As the lead neurosurgeon, he had taken a special interest in Drew's case right from the beginning. Drew should not have continued living once the machine was unhooked, but here we were. “Madison, how are you today?” Gavin smiled warmly. He had gotten a new haircut, which I had to admit made him more attractive. He was the exact sort of guy I would have gone for, if he weren't easily I0 or I5 years older than me- assuming I was normal and not engaged to a man in a coma.
I offered my typical polite smile. “As long as I have breath... right?” It was a phrase we were used to saying. As long as Drew had breath there was hope. “Have they found a miracle cure yet?” The question was rhetorical; I knew I wasn't that lucky. I'd read the reports and knew some statistics. Drew wasn't likely to ever wake up. I had no clue how long I'd be waiting.
Gavin chuckled. “Not yet.” He thumbed through the chart that hung from the foot of Drew's bed. “Pam’s off now, huh’ You'll be in for a treat with Cecil tonight. It appears he's been in a baking mood, and he brought home-baked banan: bread for everyone.”
Gavin's grin was infectious, drawing one from both me and Alice. She situated the flowers next to Drew's remote on the side table and took the sponge out of the small cup of water that sat there. As she swabbed Drew's mouth to keep it moist and clean, she hummed a tune I recognized as his favorite lullaby.
“You are so dedicated here, Madison. I feel like Drew is honored to have such a strong and caring woman by his side. Most other patients spend their days mostly alone as time stretches on, but you keep coming back.” Gavin folded his arms over his broad chest.
“l can’t leave him.” I watched as Alice continued caring for Drew, her actions now almost robotic. She'd missed days coming to see him, though I hadn't missed one. I couldn't very well sit in this room all day every day. Bills had to be paid, which meant work needed to be done. As Alice moved away, I took Drew's hand in mine again. The lifeless weight still felt wrong, like I was holding a ghost. At least his touch was still warm.
“You're a beautiful woman. You should be out enjoying life and building your career, but you remain so steadfast here!” He positioned himself at the foot of the bed, but I kept my back to him. The compliment was kind, but Drew was my fiancé. I had no interest in pursuing other options or “building my career” unless Drew was in it.
“No updates then?” Alice cut in, her hand resting on my shoulder comfortingly.
“Nothing new. But sometimes no news is good news, right?” I heard rustling of papers. “I'll be back in tomorrow.” The door whooshed, and I glanced over to see him disappear out the door. His dark wavy hair coiffed perfectly even in back. Dr. Carpenter was a classy man, and I valued his friendship, but sometimes it was nice to just be alone with my grief. Even if at times I wanted to escape from it.
With a sigh of relief, I focused my attention back on Drew, but Alice's hand never left my shoulder. We remained in silence for a moment hovering over him there. He looked helpless.
“You know, Drew wouldn't want you just sitting here wasting away. He'd want you to do like Dr. Gavin said, go out there and live your life” Alice fidgeted with my hair, running her fingers through it. I felt her working a braid, so I sat still and enjoyed how she mothered me.
From the beginning Alice and I never got along. She didn’t hate me, but it felt like she was jealous of the way Drew loved me. Like she was losing a son instead of gaining a daughter. By the time the wedding approached, she and I go along well, though we had awkward times where I felt out of place.
Since Drew's accident, she and I had been inseparable. It was like I had replaced Drew in her heart entirely. She mourned losing him, and there I was, a surrogate for her affection and attention. She doted on me, encouraged me, and talked to me more than my own mother. It was nice. But it didn’t replace Drew. That empty longing still ached in my gut every time I saw him there in that bed.
“I'm sure for any other woman, that sounds like a reasonable thing. But for me, I can’t fathom leaving him like this" I rubbed my thumb over the vein on the back of his hand. “Besides, he’s my life partner. How would I find anyone as perfectly matched as me? You know what a difficult choice that is to make?”
Alice sighed, letting my hair fall on my back. She pulled up a chair and sat down, resting a hand on my knee. Soft gray hairs framed her face in a short bob, little wispy curls around her temples. The vigor in her blue eyes had faded away for a while, but somewhere along the line it had returned, though I felt mine never had. She looked at me with concern and compassion.
“Drew loved you with his entire heart, Madii. I don’t know how many times he and I had discussions about you where he told me of plans you both had for your future—things you were going to do together, places you'd go. He would want you to go do those things. Even if you only take pictures... Look there on the wall. You could hang pictures of your trips and when he wakes up, you can show him.”
Alice cupped my cheek, a glisten of moisture in her eye. She gave me a pat, then folded her hands in her lap and looked down at Drew.
I wanted to protest, to tell her she was wrong. I wanted to fight and shout and raise hell until someone made Drew wake up, but it was futile. No amount of anger in the world would wake him up. And Alice was right. I'd known it for 2 long time. Drew was about as much of an adventure junkie as I was. He would demand I get off my a*s and go jump out of an airplane, not sit there and mope. Still, I don't think I could bring myself to leave him.
Twisting the ring on my finger I said, “You're right. Drew would want that. But it doesn’t mean my heart has to move on yet. Does it?” I couldn't imagine ever moving on. How could you just move on from someone you planned to spend the rest of your life with?
“Oh, dear no. Even if you find someone else to love, you will always have him in your heart. My first husband died only six years into our marriage. I still love him to this day. Married 28 years to Henry and all. Drew was our little matchmaker.” Alice smiled and blushed. “He's been the glue that held us together all this time. And he still is. Every part of him”This is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
I only prayed that I would find a love like Alice and Henry. I only prayed it would be Drew. Given the doctor's assessments, it didn't seem likely, but when hope is the only thing, you can hold on to, you never let go. That was a hard lesson I'd had to learn over the past I6 months. When his extended family left, I stayed. When his friends left, I was still there. When my family gave up on me and called me crazy for hanging on, I still stayed.
Drew was the only thing that mattered to me now. If I had to stare at that face for ten more years, eyes closed, pale complexion—I would. I didn't have a choice. I put him here. I owed it to him to stay.