My Wife is a Sassy Queen

James kept caressing Mariana’s hand. Her hand was cold. He stroked her fingers and rubbed them softly, trying to warm her up.

“You bite the top of your pen when you focus on work. You bite your lips when annoyed but want to keep your temper in check. You eat hot pot or anything spicy like you are on a mission. It makes me wonder if you actually like it. Or you got used to it some other way.”

James smiled through his tears.

“You treat all your employees very well, not because it would ease your way when you take over from your father or with any diabolical agenda. But because you genuinely think that’s the right way to treat your employees. You remember all your maids, drivers, bodyguards, and things about their family because you care about them. You are kind and compassionate. You are short-tempered and easily annoyed. You roll your eyes more often than you smile.”

James laughed a little as he pressed a kiss on her palm.

“You love the kids so much. You would take a bullet for your friends. You are also very lazy. If you had a choice, you would have chosen a high-paying white-collar job instead of taking over a company; not because you are incapable of managing it or lack the talent for it. But because you don’t want to be responsible for that many people’s livelihood.”

Mariana was stunned at his words. She had never shared it with anyone. Of course, Liliana knew. But she never understood because she was naturally more responsible and had that inherent quality within her.

Hearing such things from James made her feel many different things at once.

James continued, oblivious to Mariana’s changing emotions.

“I never realized when I started to notice things about you. I did not realize when I started to fall for you. Before I knew it, I was already predicting your expressions in my head. I was already getting jealous of Liam that he could make you laugh when you were scowling at me just minutes before.”

“I hated everyone who was there for you when you needed someone instead of me. Every time after calming down, I would realize that I was lacking. You have no idea just how many times I have vowed to do better by you. But when the time came, I always failed.”

“I always blamed fate and poor timings. But now I realize I never treated you right. I never thought of things from your point of view. Even when I fell in love with you, I always thought of my feelings and emotions – never yours.”

James choked, and fresh tears streamed down his eyes.

“I should have thought of making you happy. I should have focused on making you feel secure and relaxed. I should have tried to love you the way you wanted. Instead, I went from teasing you to falling for you and didn’t even give you the memo. I never treated you right, so how could you possibly figure it out?”

James kissed her palm and rested his forehead on the side of her bed like an injured homeless animal.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

Mariana felt her eyes burn at that.

James seemed to remember something and added, “Alice and I dated when we were in college. It was only a fling. I caught her having a threesome with two of our classmates. We never dated after that. I don’t love her. I never did.”

“I was only shocked that she would kiss me out of nowhere despite my previous warnings.”

“When she tried to touch me after you got hurt, it burned. I felt sick and disgusted. I avoided her instinctively as if she was a contagious plague. I should have done that from the beginning.”

“From the moment I realized I had feelings for you, I should have instinctively avoided all women.”

“I should not wait for you to get hurt before I understand the word loyalty.”

“I was so shocked to see you bleed and lose our baby that I froze. What good am I if I freeze instead of taking care of you at the most critical moment? We lost our baby. I didn’t even get to be happy about having our child, and I failed you and our child so badly that your friend had to take responsibility.”

“Mariana, I killed our child with my bare hands. How could I do that? How did that happen?”

James wailed sorrowfully at that. Even so, he was careful not to hurt her hand.

Mariana also teared up seeing him like that.

She had never given him any credit. She always thought he was being an ass, so she never thought deeply about anything.

She could not make sense of her feelings. She felt uncomfortable but did not know what it was.

James stiffened and raised his head a little when his tears dried out.

He looked at Mariana’s flat belly and raised his hand.

He paused a few inches from her belly and asked, “May I?”

Mariana nodded.

He caressed her belly gently as if she was still pregnant. He stood on his knees and kissed her tummy.

“I am so sorry, baby. Daddy is so sorry! Daddy loves you and your momma!” James whispered on her belly.

He added in a voice filled with remorse and grief, “Daddy failed you. Daddy lost you and your mommy. Daddy is a pathetic bastard.”

James kissed her belly and cried. After a long time, he fell asleep after he was tired.

But Mariana could not sleep.

After thinking for a while, she called the bodyguard outside, located the driver, and asked him to send James back to Liliana’s place.

James kept crying and muttering ‘Mariana’ in his sleep.